Christmas, films, reviews

Tuesday Review – The Holiday Calendar (2018)

97b73e90f80f75987c1149938161f0abbc9dd0295_Star_Rating_System_0_and_half_star Happy Christmas to anybody reading this on or around the 25th! I hope you’ve had a wonderful time however you decided to spend it. The rest of my family have turned in for the night so I’m taking the time to post my review of the final Netflix Christmas film of 2018. It’s the one I was least excited about, which is why I left it til the last-minute. Of course, I can hardly say that I was looking forward to any of them (with the possible exception of The Christmas Chronicles) but, after seeing the trailer, my expectations for The Holiday Calendar were the lowest of the low. I mean the entire preview gave away the entire story. Not that I couldn’t have guessed from the poster anyway. But, needing to get a sense of completion, I knew I had to watch it eventually. At least I didn’t really have to pay attention to the plot. It’s not like there were going to be any shocks with the narrative. And, after a busy day at work, something this mindless is kind of the only thing I’m in the mood for.

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films, reviews, TBT

Throwback Thirty – Mac and Me (1988)

220px-Mac_and_me_movie_poster5_Star_Rating_System_0_stars I know that the whole world is madly counting down the days until Christmas because they still have presents to buy and stuff. Me? I’ve got a different countdown in my mind. After today, I’ve only got two more Throwback Thirty posts. That means I’ve only got two more films from 1988 to watch this year. And I already know which ones they’re going to be. Now, I don’t want to spoil it for you all. I’m sure the world is on tenterhooks waiting to see which it will be. Instead, I’ll focus on today’s choice. And it’s one I’ve been waiting for all year. This is one of the infamous films currently holding a 0% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  How could I possibly get through this series without reviewing a film that bad? It’s the film that resides on all of the list of worst films in 1988 and tops most of them. At the very least, it might act as some sort of therapy to help me see that something worse than me came out of 1988. Sometimes a gal just needs a boost I guess.

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films, list, top 5

Top 5 Friday – 5 Reasons Why The Crimes of Grindelwald is a Bad Film

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There probably won’t be many people out there who still remember the days when I tried to write a Top 10 list every week. Yep, in the not too distant past, I struggled to come up with a coherent list of 10 things related to a specific book or film related top 10. I did it every Wednesday cause, you know, I fucking love to make things rhyme and it always stressed me out. I could never think of a topic and I could never pick 10 things. I think I threw about 6 fake dinner parties for fictional characters in the space of 4 months and the guests were pretty much the same every time. I don’t know what I was thinking. But, I’m obviously a glutton for punishment as I’ve been thinking about starting a new weekly series on a Friday. I’m already struggling because my journey home tonight took me over 3 fucking hours so I’m too tired and pissed off to be writing anything. But, I’m still really angry about this film so this has to happen somehow. I guess it can’t be that bad… and it’s not as if it’s got anything to do with dinner parties. Yet, anyway. So, without further stalling for time, I present the top 5 things I think made The Crimes of Grindelwald a bad film. These don’t include the changes to the canon that I mentioned in my post on Wednesday. Nor do they mention, though it took all of my strength not to, Jude Law’s annoying and laughable Irish moments. I get that he was paying homage to Michael Gambon but who seriously heard him speak his lines and said “yep, that’s exactly how he should say that”? It’s so distracting!

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films, reviews, TBT

Throwback Thirty – Hobgoblins (1988)

220px-hobgoblins19875_star_rating_system_1_and_a_half_stars If I were to ask you what your favourite 80s horror film starring small furry monsters then you’d probably, and quite rightly say, Gremlins. Unfortunately that film was released in 1984 so I had to find the next best thing. Thankfully, in 1988 the film Hobgoblins came out and that’s essentially just a carbon copy. Hobgoblins didn’t exactly make a name for itself when it was released but has since become something of a cult classic. Mostly down to the fact that it was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 where it was described by Paul Chaplin as heading “right to the top of the list of the worst movies we’ve ever done.” A fantastic legacy that was only helped by the fact that Rick Sloane (writer, director, producer) submitted the show himself and loved the episode. Whatever else you can say about the film, it certainly had earned its place in the annals of Hollywood history. Continue reading

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books, rants

Bookish Post – YA? Ya ready for this rant?

For the first time in a really long time I haven’t got a new book to review. So, for the first time in a really long time I haven’t got any inspiration for my Wednesday post. It definitely doesn’t help that my current read is so bloody uninspiring. I don’t really know what possessed me to start reading To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, especially as I didn’t even like the film that much. I guess I thought it would be an easy read but I just can’t get into it. It’s fallen into so many awful YA traps and I genuinely hate reading parts of it. There is something about an adult writer trying to write the voice of a 16 year old that never quite works. I know that there is no way that I could write a convincing 16 year old yet, still, YA writers keep trying. It got super bad when she used the word “beotch” twice in quick succession. This was a book that was only written a few years ago. Who was still using the word “beotch”? It’s ridiculous. I’ve spent so much of this novel cringing. Which is why I’m being so bad at reading right now. I just don’t want to pick up this book.

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films, reviews, TBT

Throwback Thirty – Taffin (1988)

25388485_star_rating_system_2_stars I got an email this week from a website informing me that it was my half birthday. Apparently that momentous occasion was reason enough for them to offer me money off lingerie. Who knew that half birthdays were the cheap underwear birthdays? Anyway, that email got me thinking that it was time to celebrate me having made  as we have reached this important time of the year I decided that I needed to watch an important film for this TBT post. And there was only one film worth of that honour. It’s a film that I’ve been meaning to watch ever since I heard it discussed on Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish’s radio show. There is a specific scene that became something of an in-joke for the two comedians and their fans. I can only imagine the amount of hours I’ve spent listening to that clip on repeat. It meant that I felt like I knew the film intimately but, obviously, have never seen anything more than a 15 second clip. My friend and I had meant to watch it years ago, during the height of the Adam and Joe Taffin craze. But it never happened. Which means I get to do it now on this, my half-year birthday. It’s almost like fate.

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books, reviews

Book Review – Mad by ChloĂ© Esposito

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I don’t tend to pick my reads based on anything other than random choice. As I’ve discussed before, I’m not the kind of person who sticks to my TBR at all. I also don’t really tend to pick seasonal reads either. Well, I guess aside from reading Christmas/Winter related novels in November and December but that’s just common sense. Still, there is something about Summer time that just gets me wanting to read some trash. And I’m talking full on trash. Like the worst of the worst. There’s just something about reading in the sun that requires something absolutely outrageous. So, this year, when I went on holiday recently I took a piece of trash that I’ve been wanting to read for ages. I was so desperate, in fact, that I bought a cheap hardback copy despite already owning it on my Kindle. The reason I was so desperate? It was about twins. I’m a twin (something I’ve mentioned way too often during my 30th birthday year) and am always interested in narratives that relate to twins in some way. So a trashy novel about twins? It was the only thing I was looking forward to reading this August.

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films, reviews

Tuesday’s Reviews – Skyscraper (2018)

skyscraper_28201829_film_poster5_star_rating_system_2_and_a_half_stars I can’t say that I ever really paid much attention to Dwayne Johnson’s acting career over the years. I just always assumed that his kind of mindless action movies were the kind of stuff I wanted to spend my time watching. I’ve never even seen a Fast and Furious movie. Over the years I’ve heard people tell me that aren’t all bad but I still just can’t be arsed. There’s so many these days. It’s exhausting. However, I can’t deny that there is something about him as an actor that I enjoy. He’s done some pretty funny things and I’ve started to see him in a different light. It’s like when I suddenly realised that Channing Tatum was a very clever performer. In both cases I realised that I’d been negatively judging them both based on my own small insight. So, I’ve decided to give Dwayne the benefit of the doubt and not be so quick to dismiss his films. That said, Skyscraper always seemed one step too far. No matter how often my co-worker tried to convince me that it was super original because he had a prosthetic leg.

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film, film reviews, reviews

Tuesday’s Reviews – I Feel Pretty (2018)

i_feel_pretty5_star_rating_system_2_stars When I first heard about it, I Feel Pretty was being marketed as some sort of feminist propaganda. I saw it mentioned on Facebook as being a must-see because of how super empowering it would be for all women. Then I saw the trailer and I got really angry. The film that was supposedly meant to provide a message about body positivity was actually just a run of jokes about Amy Schumer being fatter than a model. It really didn’t seem very empowering to me. This anger also made me really interested to see it but I knew I would hate it so much that I didn’t want to see it at the cinema. That would be giving it too much credit. But, inevitably, my fascination got the better of me so I finally watched it. Preparing for the worst. Continue reading

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film reviews, films, reviews

Tuesday’s Reviews – The Life of the Party (2018)

life_of_the_party5_star_rating_system_1_and_a_half_stars Never mix business and pleasure. That’s what we’re always told and it’s something that Melissa McCarthy and her husband Ben Falcone should really have paid more attention to. This year’s The Life of the Party is their third time of collaborating on a film. The first, Tammy, was such a dire experience for me that I, apparently, didn’t even bother to review it. Something I did, at least, manage for their second film The Boss. But it’s fair to say that neither of these films were a great example of who McCarthy is as a performer. I don’t really understand how it could have gone so wrong either. She and her husband co-wrote both films but, for some reason, decided to write them with a lack of genuinely funny jokes. Instead, they both rely on the physical comedy that McCarthy is regularly forced to rely on to get a laugh. I’ve been a fan of hers since I first saw Gilmore Girls and agree that she was the best thing about Bridesmaids. So it’s been difficult to constantly be faced with an endless stream of disappointing or downright terrible films. Admittedly, some of her other collaborations with Paul Fieg have been more successful but they still feel like they’re lacking something. I go into every new films hoping this is the time she finds what’s missing. Watching the first trailer for The Life of the Party I was pretty sure this wouldn’t have it but I’m nothing if not open-minded at this point.

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