The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

Benedict Cumberbatch, CGI, dragon, fantasy, Luke Evans, meh, Middle Earth, Peter Jackson, review, Tolkien
600x600bb_10__08100.1578192190Watching The Hobbit trilogy has felt a bit like Christmas dinner. The first course is absolutely delicious and you come away satisfied and hungry for more. By the time the second one gets under way, you realise you’re getting fuller and could probably have made do with some smaller portions. Then comes the dreaded final course. After the first two you’ve had so much fucking food you might burst but then someone brings out the Christmas pudding. You know you don’t need it but you eat your portion anyway and spend the rest of the day, uncomfortably full, half regretting you’re decision. It’s all lovely in itself but together it’s just too much.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Benedict Cumberbatch, CGI, dragon, fantasy, Martin Freeman, Middle Earth, motion capture, Orlando Bloom, Peter Jackson, review, Tolkien

The Hobbit came out last year amid great despair that it wasn’t a fitting adaptation of Tolkien’s loved children’s fantasy. As you may recall, I loved it and thought the real-time Dwarf dinner would have been exactly how Tolkien would have envisioned a film version of his simple tale. I was filled with excitement for the second instalment as soon as I stepped out of the cinema that first time but, thanks to the pressures of Christmas and a shortage of staff at work, I was left to wait until last week to view it. With the state of mind I was in, Peter Jackson would have had to do something horrific for me not to be even slightly impressed. Particularly when one of my many great loves, Benedict Cumberbatch, was the sexy voice of Smaug the dragon.

The Hobbit (2012)

Andy Serkis, fantasy, Martin Freeman, Middle Earth, motion capture, Peter Jackson, Tolkien
241899id8_TheHobbit_Intl_BILBO_27x40_KEYART.indd(I found it hard to try and maintain an objective view whilst writing this as I openly admit to falling in love with this film (is that possible? Hell if people in Japan can marry video game characters I can love a film) from the opening sequence. Apologies for any gushing praise that may infiltrate this piece… although not really because, as we all know, “love means never having to say you’re sorry”.)