Bookish Post – I’m Stark raving mad for Sansa

books, Game of Thrones, television

So, once again I’m having to put off my book review until Friday. At this rate, I might as well just do two bookish posts a week. Especially now I have weekends off. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. It means I can do at least one review a week (if I can keep up) and a random post. Of course, it would also mean me coming up with an extra post idea a week and that’s not always worked out well for me. I’ve never been the kind of person who wanted to write content for contents sake. Despite what I might be being told at work. But that’s another rant for another day. Instead, I’m filling my Wednesday night post with a subject that’s close to my heart. A topic that I’ve been getting quite passionate about with a friend of mine. A friend who really wasn’t ready for how much I cared about it. I’ve ranted about this television show before and I will again. That’s the joy of finding something you actually give a shit about. You’ll always find something to be annoyed about and something to absolutely adore. I’m not the kind of person who believes that anything is flawless. That doesn’t sound like much fun to me. I enjoy conflict and feeling conflicted about something I love is the ideal situation. Really, what I’m saying is, I just love debating and arguing about things.

12 Days of Christmas Book Tag

blogging, book, book blogger, book blogging, books, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, Harry Potter, LOTR, Man Booker, murakami, Roald Dahl, Tolkien
So Christmas is officially on 12 days away. I think I’ve got/bought most of my presents but I still need a few bits. I’m not nearly as concerned as I should be though. I’ll just find something online and hope for the best as always. But the 12 days thing has got me thinking about something that bugs me. It might just be me but I get incredibly irritated when people use the phrase 12 days of Christmas incorrectly. I see so many online sales pre-December 25th called the 12 days of Christmas and it makes me crazy. We all know the 12 days of Christmas starts on the day itself and goes on until 5th January. Stop misappropriating it. Advent is advent. We don’t need another thing that’s only half the length. If it’s just because you like the song then we’ll write a fucking advent song for you. Now, you may be sitting there think “why don’t you just chill out with a mulled wine?” Well, I’d love to but I can’t help it. It’s just not right. Plus, it would mean I didn’t have a convenient link into today’s bookish post. I don’t have anything to review or rant about (other than the my mini rant above) so I’m doing another tag. As it’s that time of year, I’ll do the 12 Days of Christmas tag… even though it’s before December 25th.

On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A Partridge in a Pear Tree  : The Partridge Stood Alone In The Pear Tree? What is Your Favourite Stand Alone of 2017?
I primarily read stand alone novels these days so, if I’m correct, all of the books I read this year have been stand alones. So picking my favourite of the year will be tough. I guess it is either Lincoln in the Bardo or And Then There Were None. As the Agatha Christie was a reread, I’ll give it to George Saunders’ Man Booker Prize winning novel.
On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Two Turtle Doves : Love Is In The Air, Who Is You OTP?
I don’t really do the OPT and ‘shipping’ thing. I don’t pair characters with other characters but I do pair myself with fictional people all the time. So, in terms of my bookish OTP it has to be Jaime and Brienne from ASOIAF as usual. Yes, I love the idea of Tormund and Brienne having loads of ginger babies but she’s meant to be with Jaime.
On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Three French Hens :  In The Spirit Of Threes, What Is The Best Trilogy Your Have Read?
As I already mentioned, I don’t tend to pick up series or trilogies these days. So, as unoriginal as it may be, I’ll have to say The Lord of the Rings. It’s a fucking classic though and I’ve loved it since I first read it. It took me ages to finish it but I regret nothing.
On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Four Calling Birds : Since Series Usually Consist of Four or More Books What Is Your Favorite Series?
Urgh, why is everyone forcing fucking series on me? I love a stand alone. What’s wrong with that? Erm but, to go with the spirit of this tag, I guess it has to be ASOIAF. I think George RR Martin is a great (if sometimes inconsistent writer) who has created something wonderful. God knows how he’s ever going to end it but I’m here for the ride.
On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Five Golden Rings : One Ring To Rule Them All! Who is Your Favorite Villain/Antagonist?
I love a good villain. I’m always interested in a book that takes things from the perspective of someone who is, in most senses, the bad guy. Like Lolita for example. Nabokov manages to present someone who is so heinous seem like a nice guy. Although, if I’m honest, my favourite villain is probably someone more like Sauron. I guess I just like my bad guys to be cartoonishly bad.
On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Six Geese a Laying : Creation Is A Beautiful Thing! What is Your Favorite World/World-Building?
It’s a definite toss up between Tolkien and George RR. Both of these writers are great at creating rich and full worlds for their stories. I love diving into them.
On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven Swans a Swimming: Who Needs Seven Swans When All It Takes Is One Good Animal Sidekick To Make A Hero Rock! Who Is Your Favorite Animal Sidekick?
I don’t know really. Maybe Hedwig? I honestly can’t think of the many characters with an animal sidekick right now. Either my memory is going or I’m not reading the right books. No wait… Fawkes. I love that little guy. 
On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight Maids a Milking: Milk Is So 18th Century! Which Book or Series Takes Beverages/Food To A Whole New Level?
This is a really odd question and I don’t think I have an answer. I guess the closest thing I can think of is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Who didn’t read that book as a kid and wish the Wonka factory was real? I guess it helps that I’ve just been flipping through Revolting Recipes as well.
On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Nine Ladies Dancing : Dancing is Just One Skill of a Lady! Who is Your Favorite Kickass Female Lead?
Brienne of Tarth… although she’s not really a lead per se. Well, she is a chapter POV character so it counts, right? I don’t care anyway. I fucking love her.
On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Ten Lords a Leaping: Leaping Lords? How About Who Is Your Favorite Leading Lad?
Does lad mean young boy or is it just a random synonym someone’s chucked in? I’m all for alliteration but I feel like a different word would have been better. I don’t know though because, despite being a raging feminist, I tend to read more novels with male protagonists. I guess, as it’s one of my favourite novels, I think Rob from High Fidelity is pretty cool. I mean he’s a bit of a dick but that’s even more reason to love him. I like my men to be flawed and have an encyclopaedic knowledge of popular music.
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eleven Pipers Piping: Where Would We Be Without Music? What Is Your Favorite Book or Bookish Thing That Deals With Music? (It can be about music, reference music a lot etc.)
Can I just say Haruki Murakami? I mean the guy used to own a jazz bar and bloody loves jazz. Music is such a huge part of all of his novels that you can’t really ignore it. Take Norwegian Wood, one of my favourites; music is just a central theme to the novel. I love how he weaves everything together in the narrative.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
12 Drummers Drumming: Drum Roll Please…………………….What Is Your Favorite Read of This Year?
I’ll have to take some time to think about this… meaning check back here soon where I’ll write a separate blog post on this very topic. Mostly because I want an idea for upcoming posts but partly because I need to remind myself of what I read this year.

Top 10 Wen-sday: Top 10 fictional characters I’d want in my zombie apocalypse squad

Buffy, Game of Thrones, ghostbusters, Harry Potter, Kate McKinnon, list, Marvel, Sherlock Holmes, Top 10, zombies

These Top 10 Wednesdays really sneak up on me so I’m always caught off guard. I don’t know why I’m so shit at remembering considering it happens at the start of every new month. I try and spend the month thinking about the next one but still feel unprepared when the day finally arrives. This month I wanted to celebrate the upcoming ghoulish celebrations by making it Halloween themed but my proposed Top 10 Alternative Halloween films list just didn’t happen. So I’ve decided to keep that for closer to the day and have instead decided to delve into a topic that is fairly controversial for me. I think I’ve made it clear that I’m fucking bored by zombies these days but, at a time like this. you can’t really get away from the little buggers. So it begs the question, if the day ever comes when the undead decide to fight back who do I really want by my side? What I’m essentially doing is creating the cast list for my ultimate dream zombie apocalypse movie. And I know what you’re thinking, why not just find 10 characters who have survived zombie apocalypses? Well, that would be both boring and not as much fun. So, I’ve avoided that wherever possible. It’s going to be great. But probably not. You know who these things go.


Ten: Gillian Holtzmann

 A bit of a weird one I must admit because she’s mostly prepped for dealing with ghosts. However, look back at her fucking awesome gun sequence in Ghostbusters and you’ll see she’s pretty handy with firearms. She could easily change her targets if need be. Plus, you need people who are gonna be fun if you’re the last remaining humans on Earth. I mean I love Andrew Lincoln so much but Rick Grimes is so fucking miserable and annoying. I’d have given him up to the Walkers many seasons ago. Holtzmann would put the “ha” in zombie ha-pocalypse. Also, you need more than death in a zombie movie. The sexual tension between me and the Holtz would be palpable. Or, more likely, entirely in my head and making everyone else uncomfortable. But you know, subplot.

Nine: Rupert Giles

I know, I know. Why would you pick someone from the Buffyverse and not pick Buffy herself? Well, think about it. Buffy is great, undoubtedly, but you have to spend every day with these people. Every day. Look at Buffy in season 5 and beyond. She moans… a lot. That would be super annoying after a while. Yes, she’s the chosen one but why does she have to be so holier than thou about it? Yes, Giles may have a propensity for getting bashed on the head every time he tries to fight someone, at least he knows a fuckload about the forces of evil. Surely if there’s anyone that could find a way to end the zombie plight then it’d be Giles. Besides, every zombie film has that one person who always falls into a zombie trap and needs rescuing. If I don’t provide that person then it would end up being me.

Eight: Minerva McGonagall

 Minerva is old, make no mistake, but she’s a badass motherfucker and I want her on my team. Just look at her in Deathly Hallows, she’s a queen. She faces off against Snape, holds her own in the Battle of Hogwarts and says two of the best lines in the final two films. Minerva is a powerful witch that, when Dumbledore was alive, was always overlooked. She’s amazing. Plus, you know, Maggie Smith. 

 Seven: Sherlock

In all honesty I wasn’t sure about including Sherlock on the list. He’s hardly an action hero who would be able to stand up to the zombies. However, he is the kind of guy who could help with strategy. He’d know how to keep people safe and where to get the supplies we need. He’d be the one that would wind everyone up but would ultimately save everyone’s life. Brawn isn’t everything you know. Zombies shouldn’t be the only ones looking for braaaaaains.

 Six: Obi Wan

 There were a lot of people from Star Wars that I could have chosen to be part of my dream team but there were more that I knew wouldn’t work: Luke and Yoda would be far too annoying; Chewie would no doubt growl loudly enough to alert a horde to our presence; Darth Vader would definitely kill you given the chance; Anakin is annoying as fuck; and Mace Windu was clearly shit as shown in his fucking stupid death. It essentially came down to Leia, Han and Obi Wan. I chose Obi Wan because I’m a bigger fan of Ewan McGregor’s face than I am Carrie Fisher and Han Solo without Chewie just didn’t seem right. Besides, he was a pretty big deal during the Clone Wars so General Kenobi would be a fine edition to the team.

Five: Ellen Ripley

Ripley is often considered to be the greatest female character of all time and it’s easy to see why. She’s an amazing character who has lived through enough alien encounters to make it obvious that she’d survive this. Ripley is exactly the kind of person you need around when things get tough and it doesn’t seem as though she’d be too annoying to be around. If anything I think she’d be my sassy, cynical soulmate. We’d be BFFs in no time. I’m positive.

Four: John McClane

Earlier this year I was asked in an interview “which fictional character would you most identify with?” As I’d watched Die Hard a couple of days before I could only think of this guy but I think it’s a pretty good answer. John McClane is the kind of guy I’d want to be around in a crisis. Now I’m not talking about Die Hard 4 era John McClane. I’m talking 80s god John McClane. The guy who single-handedly took down a whole gang of German thieves. Imagine what he could do in a zombie apocalypse? I mean he’s a man who doesn’t mind being dirty, he thinks on his feet, and he’s handy with the weapons. Exactly the kind of man who’d get you through a zombie infestation.

Three: Brienne of Tarth

 I realise that there are very few lists on this blog that don’t contain Brienne of Tarth now but there’s a reason for that. The woman is a fucking badass. She’s handy with a sword, fucking huge, and just really awesome. I’d love to be stuck with her at the end of days. She’d protect me and help me get things off high shelves. I mean she fought a bear and lived for fuck’s sake. Why wouldn’t you want her around. And I’m pretty sure Podrick would just follow her around anyway and, as we know, I a fan of the Brienne-Pod friendship. It would add some much needed sentiment to my Z-movie.
  
Two: Jack Bauer

So I’ve saved the best til last. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Jack Bauer is handy in a crisis and knows how to stick to a deadline. If there’s anything we learnt from the 9 seasons of 24 it’s that Jack Bauer can turn anything into a weapon which would be incredibly handy given it’s the end of the world and supplies would probably be limited. The guy’s got skills. He’s also incredibly attractive so it only increases my chances for romance in my zombie movie. You know how it is: I nearly get eaten by zombies, Jack Bauer saves me, he proceeds to shout abuse and threats at me and, obviously, one thing leads to another. This shit writes itself.

One: Groot

Fun fact: the game I’ve played most on Steam is Plants vs Zombies. I used to play is as I was writing my essays so it would be open for hours on end whether I played it or not. As such I’ve managed to get 190 hours of play recorded on my account. This means I know a fair bit about zombies by now. If there’s one thing I know it’s that they don’t fair well against plants. Therefore, the best man to destroy them is a massive fucking tree. Not only was he the greatest thing in Guardians of the Galaxy but he would surely have the power to stop zombies making their way across your garden. He is Groot. I am Groot. We are Groot.

MONDAY RUNDOWN – THAT’S WHAT SHE READ

book haul, currently reading, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, Gilmore Girls, Jesse Eisenberg, Netflix, recently watched
So it’s time to apologise. Yesterday I failed to get my weekly rundown out and I honestly have no idea how. I remembered at about 1am when I was lying in bed and I really didn’t fancy getting back up to do it. For the first time since I implemented my new system I have failed to get a post up in time. It’s not even as if it was a busy day yesterday. Saturday I was in York all day for my sister’s hen do but Sunday I was lazing around all day. I’m such a fucking failure. Still, I can get it out now and hope the one day delay has just made people more desperate to find out what I’m reading this week. I mean it’s highly doubtful but I can always pretend. After all, if I go too far down the road  of how many people may actually read this then I’ll probably stop ever getting posts out on time.

Just Finished
  • A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms by George RR Martin
Yes, I know, I’m just as relieved as you are. This book is finally finished. It’s been about a month long task but I’ve reached the end of the first three Dunk and Egg stories. It was hard going but only because it’s been a while since I’ve read any George RR. I still loved it and can’t wait for the rest to be released. Especially with the knowledge we already know about Dunk and Egg’s futures. It’s nice to see where they started from. It’s the greatest bromance to hit Westeros since Sam and Jon. Or Tyrion and Bronn. Or Tyrion and Pod. Or Ned and Robert. Or Davos and Stannis. Okay there have been shit ton of bromances in Westeros but that doesn’t mean Dunk and Egg aren’t noteworthy. If only for the sheer number of times Dunk threatens to smack the future King. The only negative I can take from this book is that I definitely need to reacquaint myself with A Song of Ice and Fire before The Winds of Winter comes out. Otherwise, I’ll be super fucked. 

Currently Reading
  • The Woman Next Door by Yewande Omotoso
This book’s cover is beautiful and really fucking bright that it’s been calling to me ever since I bought it. Even whilst A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms was dragging on I had decided this was what I was reading next. So far it’s really good. It’s about two neighbours living in South Africa and the conflicts that arise between the two of them. One if white and the other black and the racial tensions that simmer below the surface are just the start of their worries. Omotoso is a great writer and has a great style. It’s an easy read but not in a simplistic way. Looking forward to finishing this one.
  • Bream Gives Me  Hiccups & other stories by Jesse Eisenberg

The other night I was super tired and couldn’t be bothered with trying to get through another full section of The Woman Next Door. I decided to try a few short segments of Jesse Eisenberg’s short story collection because, to be honest, I was interested to see how good he is. I know he’s being hailed for his plays at the moment but it doesn’t necessarily translate into fiction writing. I’m still not sure because the first “story” is a collection of restaurant reviews written from the POV of a nine year old. As such the writing is childish and incredibly simplistic. Still, I like it. It reminds me a bit of Rick Moody’s Hotels of North America: A novel because we learn more about the boy’s life than the restaurants he visits. I’m with Eisenberg for now but we’ll have to see how he handles the different stories. 


Recently Purchased
  • Sexus, Plexus and Nexus by Henry Miller

Those who have been keeping up with my Instagram of late may have seen the gorgeous copies I obtained of Henry Miller’s ‘The Rosy Crucifixion’ trilogy of novels. The novels are semi-autobiographical and presen a fictionalised account of a six year period in Miller’s life. They are also so fucking saucy that they were banned in the United States. As everyone should be encouraged to read banned books and also read books with such gorgeous covers I just couldn’t resist this trio.

  • A Spy in the House of Love by Anaïs Nin
A book that was recommended as I made my purchase of the above three books. It tells the story of Sabrina who has spent her life pursuing her deepest desires. Sleeping with five different men and trying desperately to keep her marriage in tact, Sabrina finally realises that she is made up of several different identities all craving different things. As she tries to live out these different lives and their separate desires, all Sabrina craves is a unity she can’t find. This novel is about desire and self-awareness and I can’t wait to read it. 

Recently Watched
  • Game of Thrones
I’m just about to finish season 2. Something which I’ve been putting off because ‘Blackwater’ is still one of my favourite episodes. I love it so much that I want to put it off as long as possible. You know what I’m talking about. 
  • Gilmore Girls
Seriously, the moment Netflix UK got this series on there I was so fucking pleased. I’ve pretty much spent my whole week off just going through old episodes. Mainly seasons 5-7 because the Luke and Lorelai times are the best. Plus, Rory and Logan will always trump Rory and Dean and Rory and Jess. No matter how many times my friends try to convince me otherwise. 

RANTING ABOUT GAME OF THRONES: A WEEK OF IRK AND IRE – Zom-be serious for a second. What the fuck are the White Walkers doing?

boring, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, irk and ire, meh, zombies

So this is will most likely be my final post in my week of Irk and Ire. It’s my sister’s hen do thing tomorrow so I won’t get much time for writing. However, I think 5 posts of petty ranting seems like plenty. There’s obviously still more I can say; I mean I’ve barely started to scratch the surface when it comes to Dany’s unsuitability to rule Westeros. However, the season has been over for a while now and we’ve got a long wait until the next one. Especially now that Winter is here and the creators have to wait for suitable weather to film in. What I will say, as a final thought, is that no matter what I may make it sound I love this show more than anything I’ve watched and I love the books just as much. I know there’s a lot of things the show has got rid of that I was angry about but, honestly, when the show is this good I don’t fucking care. However, season 6 felt different to me. It felt rushed and everything felt all over the place. I know timelines don’t have to match up but it seemed too unstructured. Maybe without the guidance of George’s books the show is just too eager to get to where it wants to be. It’s worrying in a way because the books are less about the journey and more about the characters. Now the show just seems bothered about getting dragons in the Seven Kingdoms. I hope things settle down next season or we risk Game of Thrones going down the same route as Lost and nobody wants that.

We’re getting close to the end of Game of Thrones as a whole which means after years of waiting we’ll finally see who gets to permanently sit on the Iron Throne. I still have my fingers and toes crossed that Dany the grumpy teenage doesn’t take possession of Westeros’ most uncomfortable seat but it’s highly unlikely. Anyone that takes 6 fucking seasons to finally get round to doing what she’s been threatening to do better bring some fucking results. There two seasons left for the HBO series with a potential combined total of 13 episodes. We don’t know exactly how it will pan out but it seems to safe to say Dany’s taking of King’s Landing will happen before the end of season 7. Once Cersei has self-destructed and been killed, in all liklihood, by her twin brother in a mirroring of his first Kingslaying, then the crown is essentially just being left untouched for Dany to pick up unchallenged. I mean there’s literally only one other person who wants the throne and Littlefinger really wouldn’t be that hard to take in a fight. I mean does he even know how to hold a fucking sword? Look at his track record with duels. It doesn’t bode well.

If I’m honest, the leader of the Seven Kingdoms isn’t really the major thing I’m concerned about any more. I mean we’ve playing the same fucking game for so long it feels like we’re in the middle of an epic Monopoly showdown. Besides, the way season 6 has been rushing through its storylines and missing out chunks of time, it’s painfully clear how this will end. Even if we all still have slightly squiffy feelings about Dany’s unhealthy blood-lust and very rapey Dothraki hoard. Season 6 has basically taken the last 5 seasons and said “that was all just the warm up. Lannisters, Baratheons, Tyrells and Starks? It doesn’t actually matter.” The great houses of Westeros have been battling for power since before Ned Stark’s head fell off and very little has changed. Winter was still coming, people were still hungry, and crazy religious people were spouting their nonsense. Plus, you know, there was the threat of a zombie invasion. Nothing to fret about. That’s the most frustrating thing about A Song of Ice and Fire. It’s telling two very different stories at incredibly frustrating speeds: one of politics and crowns and the other of impending doom.

Now I don’t care that everything has taken so long because that’s a problem with the genre. What I object to is that everything is dragged out without an update. Especially because the story of the White Walkers is by far the more interesting part of the plot. After last seasons amazing episode ‘Hardhome’ I was super pumped for more White Walker action and the growing need to get shit sorted. Of course, season 6 gave us the fabulous yet emotional ‘Hold the Door’ which suggested shit was about to go down real soon. It wasn’t. I realise they’re waiting for Winter and the Wall has magical powers and stuff. However, it surely can’t take this long for the Walkers to do something. I mean clearly that magic thing is a bit dicey because of the Wight that attack Jeor Mormont back in season 1. There’s got to be a loophole or two. Surely dead animal zombies could be springing up all over the place and causing havoc?

The White Walkers have been a growing evil that’s always been lurking on the outskirts of the rest of the action and, as such, have become nothing more than an afterthought. I mean look at Jon Snow: one minute he’s all about stopping the zombie attack and the next he happily goes off to Winterfell to get his old bedroom back. I mean has he even stopped to think about what could happen at the Wall when he’s gallivanting around the North? Nah, mate. He doesn’t give a shit… and he’s actually fought the Night’s King. Naming the show Game of Thrones meant that they were sort of penning themselves in to the whole “who will be King question” which means that the White Walkers become much less important. Which, frankly, was a fucking mistake. Cersei Lannister might be batshit crazy but there is no greater menace in that show than what lies beyond the Wall. Anything that scares Tormund Giantsbane into trusting the Crows is definitely something you don’t wanna fuck with. So, I don’t really understand why they’ve had so little to do so far. Yes, they’ve been getting more prominent but I can’t help but feel all that time Arya spent pissing about as a bling girl in Braavos could have been taken out for more White Walker clashes.

Yeah, maybe the writers are just keeping them for the show’s big finale but that in itself is just as bad. I mean we know that in all likelihood season 7 will have 7 episodes and season 8 will have 6. This means 7 will be concerned with tying up the Throne plot and 8 will probably focus more in everyone’s impending death at the hand’s of the Walkers. It just doesn’t seem like enough time. Especially withe the way season 6 went down. Now the show isn’t being restricted by the books the creators have fucking flown forward as qucikly as they can. We’ve leisurely reached the point we were at by the end of season 5 and now we’re fucking steaming ahead. I can’t help but worry that the episode after the big Azor Ahai reveal is made we’ll see an end to the White Walkers. After all, it’s starting to feel as though they’ve become something of problem for the show, which has no idea how best to use them. They should be more than a visual treat intended to create intrigue.

Top Ten Wen-sday: A Week of Irk and Ire Special – Top 10 Most Boring Game of Thrones Moments

boring, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, irk and ire, list, meh

There can be no denying that Game of Thrones has been one of the most exciting and dramatic television shows around these days. However, that does not mean it isn’t also guilty of being fucking boring at times. George RR Martin created an epic landscape in which to tell his tale which meant he created a lot of characters to get the job done. The fact that there are so many perspectives on offer means that there are times when people aren’t really doing a great deal. Book readers will be familiar with the dull affair that is the entirety of book 4 where we essentially read about Cersei getting drunk and fucking as many of the men in King’s Landing as possible. So, I decided as I’m already well into my week of Game of Thrones ranting, that I’d finally make it known which moments throughout the six seasons were the least entertaining.


Ten: Bran Beyond the Wall

Ah season 5, how we miss your Bran-less ways. Bran has always been an irritating character. He moans, gets angry and mopes about more than he should. For the first season he did nothing of note but fall our of a window. Then we had the whole Theon debacle which gave him a bit more to do and gave more time to his great friendship with Osha. Then he met the world’s most boring teenager Jojen Reed. The whole trip to take Bran to the Three Eyed Raven has been so bloody time consuming. He’s done nothing but be carried through snow for years. Then when he got there the biggest reveal of the season was teased until the very last moment. The only reason Bran was really in season 6 was to reveal R+L=J and to reintroduce the undead Benjen Stark. His journey to become the Three Eyed Raven was just unmemorable aside from this. It, of course, doesn’t help that he also caused the most heartbreaking death in Game of Thrones history.

     Nine: Tyrion in Meereen

Now this is only as high as it is because nothing starring Tyrion Lannister could be described as boring. The guy is a genius and Peter Dinklage is amazing. Still, it can’t be ignore that Tyrion’s journey to and time in Meereen has been utterly pointless. All he does is get drunk, walk around and make awkward conversation with Greyworm and that chick who used to be on Hollyoaks. He should be doing bigger and better things instead of making the situation with the slavers even worse. I admit, the moment that Dany asked him to be her hand had me weeping like a baby. Aside from that, Tyrion hasn’t really done himself any favours since he swore fealty to the Mother of Dragons.

Eight: Sam and Gilly

There can be no doubt that Sam is the most adorable and kind character left in Westeros these days. He’s so pure and good that it’s nearly impossible not to love him. Nearly because, when all is said and done, he’s really fucking dull. Yes, he had that awesome moment where he killed wight with Dragonglass which was fucking awesome but, since that point, he’s really only been the soppy idiot travelling around the coutry with Gilly. These two have done absolutely nothing of note since they first met. I mean Sam fell in love with first woman he spoke to. Then we’ve just seen them making eyes at each other and go on a boat. It’s taking precious time away from better stories. Yes, it could get better now he’s at the Citadel but Sam and Gilly have added nothing this season. The whole sorry affair at Horn Hill was utterly pointless and, as gratifying as it was to see Sam stand up to his father, I could have done with more Brienne or something.

Seven: Gendry

I don’t really understand why HBO decided to make such a big thing about Gendry. Unless, I’m forgetting a whole section of the books, he wasn’t that important. He left Arya pretty quickly and was hardly relevant before that. In the TV show he obviously came to fill the void left by Edric Storm so the writers made it seem like he was important. We got all this build up to something great and it ended up quietly sailing away. I mean it was a massive set-up for such a fucking boring storyline with Melisandre and Ser Davos. If we were happy to ignore Edric then we should have been happy to ignore the need for obtaining King’s blood from one of Robert’s bastards. It really added nothing except the world of Game of Thrones memes.
 Six: Jorah Mormont the lovesick puppy

 

As you should all know by now, I have an intense passion for Iain Glenn’s Jorah Mormont. I love everything about him and would happily move to Bear Island to be his Lady and wear fur coats for the rest of my days. However, it has to be said that most of his story has fast become nothing more than “oh I’m so helplessly in love with the Queen” moping. He’s so one note these days that it’s just boring. I preferred the early days Jorah who was trying desperately to get back to his home and would do anything to make that happen. It’s like the Doctor Who thing, romance just makes potentially interesting relationships more boring. This pair would have worked much better if it had been based solely on mutual respect. Jorah saw how powerful Dany was and decided to join her cause. Similarly, Dany could see how great a warrior and useful ally Jorah could be. It could have been a great Queen/Older Adviser relationship (like she had with Ser Barristan) instead of him following her round drooling and making puppy eyes. He’s better than that.

 Five: Jon Beyond the Wall

I’ve always found Jon to be really boring. The only interesting thing about him was the whole R+L=J and even that wasn’t much of a mystery. Jon is the emo kid of A Song of Ice and Fire who sits in his room listening to MCR whilst the rest of the world are out sorting shit. He broods about every little thing and it’s fucking boring. So, when season 2 took Jon away from the much needed comic relief of his fellow Night’s Watch it made it even more apparent how dull and irritating he was. Also, how fucking useless he is. Letting Ygritte go and causing the deaths of all those Rangers? Smooth move Snow. Now, I know there is a lot of love for the Jon/Ygritte romance but, to be honest, I just didn’t get it. She was far too good for him and if I’d been her I’d have ended up with Tormund instead. Seriously, that guys a fox. This plot in the books plays out better because we hear Jon’s thoughts as he weighs up his true loyalties. He really thinks about joining Mance Rayder and comes to respect his ways. In the show we see him falling for the first girl who shows him some interest and waiting for the moment he can betray everyone around him. I hated every minute of this.   

Four: Daenerys in Qarth

Dany Dany Dany, where did it all go wrong? I mean we know where it all went wrong: your husband died, you tried to bring him back and that started your unbreakable habit of fucking everything up. Getting stuck in the Red Waste without provisions was stupid and trusting the people of Qarth to take you in was even more so. The whole time Dany and co. were at Qarth was a fucking waste of time for everyone. It didn’t move her story along at all and didn’t get her any closer to Westeros. Dany spent most of her time shouting at people or wondering where her fucking dragons were. The only good thing about the whole sorry mess was her time in the House of the Undying. But one thing in an entire season does not make up for hours of “WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS!”

Three: Everything that’s happened in Dorne

Anyone who’s been around for a while may remember my Top 5 Female Role Models in A Song of Ice and Fire. Number 5 on that list were the Sand Snakes and Arianne Martell. They stood out in the books for their fucking awesome skills as a warrior and their desire to avenge the death of Oberyn Martell. So I was fucking excited when it was announced we’d finally see Dorne on screen. Unfotunately the Dorne that HBO introduced us to was nothing like the one we knew from the books. The characters were all weak and fucking boring. Prince Doran was just the naive and shitty ruler that he was pretending to be in the books. Arianne Martell didn’t seduce Ser Arys and try and kidnap Princess Myrcella. There has been no reveal of the Dornish pacts with Viserys Targaryen and no sightings of Quentyn Martell making his way to Meereen to try and wed Dany. What we’ve had is lots of talking and arguing in the Water Gardens and the sand snakes being played by fucking awful actors. 


Two: Arya in Braavos

As I mentioned yesterday, I loved Arya Stark when I first read the books. She was a great character until she got stuck in the most boring story in the world. Something that is all the more upsetting considering she was starting her training to be a crazy, face-changing killer. I realise that every good warrior needs to be taught the tricks of the trade but this was ridiculous. We wanted to see Arya kickin arse not begging on the streets of Braavos. It was a boring idea in the book and, weirdly, even more boring on the show. We can only hope Arya has some more exciting things in her future. 

     
One: Daenerys in Meereen

I remember first reading the books and having such high hopes for Dany. The journey she went on from being the poor little wife of Khal Drogo to being a fully fledged Khaleesi who meant business. From the moment she decided she hatched her dragons and swore to take Westeros the entire audience have been on tenterhooks. That was at the end of season 1. It’s taken 5 more seasons for her to even try and get back to her home. Instead, she decided to be a fucking idiot and stop slavery. I admit, that isn’t bad in principal but her whole storyline has been an example of the West forcing their beliefs on the East. It’s shown what a terrible leader Dany is and distracted her from the bigger picture. The whole Meereen Saga has been super repetitive with Dany trying and failing to keep the ex-slavers on side. Her new marriage barely registered and the whole dragons killing people thing was dull. Even her affair with Daario wasn’t enough to make up for the boredom. The end of this story was the best thing in Game of Thrones history.

Ranting about Game of Thrones: A Week of Irk and Ire – Ar-ya fucking kidding me with this plot?

Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, irk and ire, women

Arya Stark has always been one of my favourite characters. She’s a feisty, tomboy who doesn’t play by everyone else’s rules. She’s a fucking hero. A girl who is much more comfortable with a sword in her hand than a sewing needle. Like a much better and medieval version of the girl I was growing up. So, yeah, an Arya Stark fan. I’ve been willing her on through her entire storyline. Those early days with Syrio, her time with Yoren, the Harrenhal situation, travelling with Sandor Clegane and even the most boring ninja apprenticeship in the history of ninja apprenticeships. Yeah, not since Dany failed to do a fucking thing for five books have we had such an underwhelming story. Arya’s time in Braavos was time-consuming, fucking boring and completely pointless in terms of moving her story along.

Well after about 3 seasons of hoping we all got our deepest desire and Arya finally got the balls to stand up to Jaqhen. She reclaimed her name and vowed to go back to Winterfell where she belongs. It was a fucking empowering moment that took far too long to come to pass. Of course, as we now know, she had a little pit stop along the way to cross another name off her kill list. Now as gratifying as it was to see Walder Frey finally get his comeuppance it does make me concerned about Arya’s fate. I mean she’s now gone further down a path that she really can’t get off. She’s giving out her own form of justice instead of the kind that her father honoured.

I guess part of my concern comes down to the fact that the TV show has diverged so far away from the books. Now I’m not one of those book fans that wants to complain about the fact that HBO isn’t sticking to the books. There’s a lot that I don’t mind the producers changing or adding. Really the only thing that I am missing enough to get angry about is Lady Stoneheart. She is the missing piece that was going to get revenge for the Starks. Along with the Brotherhood Without Banners, she was taking out everyone involved in the Red Wedding in her fucking brutal zombie way.

So when the show’s runners made the fucking stupid decision not to bring undead Catelyn back they had to come up with a new way to kill off the people behind the death of Robb Stark. That’s obviously where Arya comes in which, in terms of her general bad assery, is fine. However, it’s taking her down a very dark road that isn’t fitting for a member of the most honourable family in Westeros. This isn’t what Ned would have wanted for her.

Also, what life is there left for her? She can’t exactly go back to a normal life after she’s finished, ca she? She’s seen so many things and carried out some fucking gruesome tasks. She’s not the little girl she was when Ned was beheaded. We all ready had reason to worry about Arya’s fate when Eddard admitted she had inherited his sibling’s feisty nature.

You have a wildness in you, child. ‘the wolf blood,’ my father used to call it. Lyanna had a touch of it, and my brother Brandon more than a touch. It brought them both to an early grave. (A Game of Thrones)

Eddard worries about his daughter’s “wildness” and even suggests that she will die young. Arya is walking down a path of death so should we be worried about her safety? After all, “the lone wolf dies but the pack survives”. Even if she somehow manages to get back to her family what will they do with her? I can’t imagine either Sansa, Jon or Bran feeling too happy about the sheer number of people Arya has gone out of her way to kill. The fact that it was bloody revenge that kept her going over the years instead of the hope of getting home.

Let’s not forget the other female figure in the book who favours a more violent retribution for her enemies. Cersei Lannister has gone further down the batshit crazy road as time moves on and, provided the TV show is sticking to the major book moments, blows up the Citadel and half of King’s Landing’s movers and shakers. She hates Margaery and the High Sparrow and the obvious solution to her problem is to kill a fuck-load of people. The more people Arya crosses off her list the less Stark like she becomes.

The Lannisters had taken everything: father, friends, home, hope, courage. (A Clash of Kings)

The things that have transpired have taken so much from Arya and it’s already started to take away her identity. Even if she took back her name, she’s hardly following in her father’s footsteps. Ned wanted to avoid bloodshed and would only have killed for honourable reasons. We need Lady Stoneheart to come in and prevent Arya from following up with her threats. Only Zombie Cat can save Arya’s soul at this point.

Ranting about Game of Thrones: A Week of Irk and Ire – Jon Snow-Way Should He Be King

death, fucking idiot, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, irk and ire, King, politics

So, I promised you all a week dedicated to all my angry thoughts about Game of Thrones after the end of season and I fucking delivered. I’ve already spent a long time ranting to my friends and co-workers about the events that transpired this season but there a few massive points that I feel need reiterating here. Now, don’t worry, there won’t be any lengthy, petty rants about how Rickon was a fucking idiot to run in a straight line because, by this point, I’m starting to believe the kid’s better off dead. I mean I’m sad that another Stark has bitten the dust but he was a fucking moron for not even trying to zig-zag. Who, after being captured by Ramsay Bolton and being set free, doesn’t think “hmm, this is awfully convenient. I can’t imagine anything going wrong in this scenario.” I don’t think I’ve ever screamed at an episode of television as much as I have during ‘The Battle of the Bastards’. What a bunch of idiots. None more so, of course, than our new King in the North, Jon Snow.

Now, being upfront with you all, I’ve never had any warm and fuzzy feelings for Jon Snow. Obviously, having read the books, I’ve realised his importance but that doesn’t make me like him. I mean Dany is obviously important but that doesn’t stop her being an irritating fuck all the time. So yeah, knew he was destined for greatness but never believed he deserved it. For one thing, his fucking man ponytail has been the worst thing about season 6. I mean his hair has always looked shit but this takes the fucking cake. Then, let us not forget that Jon Snow has royally fucked up everything he’s ever tried to do.

  1. He was desperate to join the Night’s Watch and then instantly regretted his decision. He immediately made a ton of enemies and beat the shit out of many of his fellow wannabe brothers. Not a great start.
  2. Almost as soon as he has said his vows Jon is ready to break them to join the fight with Robb. If it hadn’t been for his friends, Jon would have been branded a deserter and killed… helping nobody fight anybody,
  3. (TV show only) Jon pisses off Crastor by not following the Old Bear’s commands and gets the Night’s Watch kicked out into the fucking cold.
  4. Lets Ygritte go causing him and Qhorin to get captured. This leads to Jon having to pretend to turn traitor and kill Halfhand to prove it. Once again, Jon breaks his vows by succumbing to Ygritte’s womanly wiles. Like a bloody idiot.
  5. Leaves his post as Mormont’s steward leaving him vulnerable to a murderous mutiny. Like a bloody idiot.
  6. Becomes Commander of the Night’s Watch, sends his only ally away and pisses off the rest of his brothers to the point that they all stab him repeatedly… to the death.
  7. (TV show only so far) Vows revenge of Ramsay Bolton for taking his home, kidnapping his brother and raping his sister. Fails to take any advice from aforementioned sister and walks straight into Ramsay’s trap. Nearly gets himself and Tormund the Epic killed. Like a bloody idiot.
  8. (TV show only so far) Somehow manages to get Winterfell back but, instead of keeping Ramsay alive for potential political leverage, he allows his sister to set starving dogs on him. No matter how justified it was it was a fucking stupid military move to kill your greatest prisoner.
  9. (TV show only so far) Becomes King of the North whilst failing to see the potential enemies he has in Sansa and Little Finger. Also, fails to have his main source of protection, a fucking Direwolf, with at all times. Like a bloody idiot.
So, yeah, that’s Jon Snow. As my old Graphic Design teacher once told me, “you have good ideas but lack the skill needed to carry them out”. Jon desperately wants to live up to the kind of leader that his (believed) father was but he isn’t anywhere near as great a man as Eddard. Yes, Ned was too trusting and didn’t have a great idea of the game but he was also the kind of man that people rally behind. Jon isn’t that kind of man. He focuses on doing what is right without thinking about the consequences of his actions.
Even Robb, the last man to be named King of the North, was a great leader and was shrewd in terms of battle. Robb understood his enemies and managed to catch them all unawares. The only way the Lannister’s could kill him was by doing something unimaginably evil with the help of the sadistic Bolton’s. Robb Stark deserved the name King of the North because he showed great potential, understanding and had actual victories behind him. Jon’s victories only come with the help of the slimiest man in the seven kingdoms. Not a great start.
Jon is even more trusting than Ned was and is incredibly naive. If the Stark patriarch didn’t understand the game of thrones then Jon definitely doesn’t. It wasn’t for nothing that Ygritte kept reminding us all “you know nothing, Jon Snow”. He really doesn’t. What are his plans now? Hold up in Winterfell and hope for the best. He must know there will be repercussions. He needs to get a plan and he needs to start listening to fucking Sansa. Without her the battle would have ended with everyone being killed. Jon needs to get her advice more often.
The mark of a good King is realising your limitations and making up for them. Jon knew he didn’t know Ramsay and he knew that he had a great resource in Sansa. Out of brotherly love or just ignorance he failed to utilise her and look what happened. On the battle field he let his emotions get the better of him and he rushed into a fight he was ill-prepared for. If he’s got any chance of keeping Winterfell and earning his title then he needs to do a bit of boning up on battle strategy. I mean, who has a fucking Giant fighting for them and fails to provide him with any weapons or protection. That guy could have saved Rickon, stomped on Ramsay and ended the whole fucking battle himself. Instead, he’s dead.
So, for all you people out there suggesting Jon Snow deserves to sit on the Iron Throne at the end of this or, at least, wed Dany when she does, I urge you to think again. I cried more when the Red Woman brought him back to life than I did when he “died”. He’s a fucking idiot who has too much of a temper. We don’t need another ruler that lets his heart rule instead of his head. I get that people out there like his face but, looks aside, is this really the man you want protecting the Seven Kingdoms? Does he deserve it? Let’s ask Wun Wun shall we… oh, wait, we can’t.

SUNDAY RUNDOWN – THAT’S WHAT SHE READ

book haul, currently reading, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, Netflix, recently watched
A month ago I told you all I was putting off writing any more Monday posts because I was doing an online course. I’ve just finished that course and am now planning to do the advanced course. This is obviously more intensive and longer so I will continue to be a bit lax with my posting schedule for the next few weeks. Not only will this let me continue my Summer of sorting my shit out. After I’ve finished the course I’ve got some plans to get this blog in order. After all, how can I sort out my own shit if I can’t even sort out this shit? I’ve started with the name and the layout, neither of which I’m convinced of by the way, and then I’m going to focus on content. I’m not pretending I’m going to try and make a career out of blogging but I want to see if I can make the whole thing more successful. Until I get a proper job I can at least use the skills I’m learning here to get some practice.

Currently Reading

  • A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms by George RR Martin

I realised today that I’ve been reading this fucking book for nearly a month now. I started it just after I finished reading Jaws and I’ve only just finished reading the second of the three stories. I don’t know whether it’s the book or me. I’m thinking about taking a break and going back to it at some point but if I do that I’ll probably never finish the damn thing. I’m off work this week so I’ll see how I go. If we get nice weather then I’ll probably bosh it off in no time.

Recently Purchased

  • Fate and Furies by Lauren Groff (Kindle Edition)

Wanted to own this for ages and have come so close to buying the beautiful paperback on so many occasions. It was only after seeing it on offer in the Kindle store that I decided to. No doubt I’ll still buy the actual book because I’m a fucking loser like that. Did I mention that I’ve got every possible format of Ishiguro’s The Buried Giant. And have I finished it yet? Have I fuck! Anyway, Fates and Furies tells the story of a picture perfect marriage that isn’t quite so idyllic on the inside. It’s about the two sides to every story and the lies that make up every relationship. 

  • So Much for That Winter by Dorthe Nors

I’ve read so much about this book recently and I have desperately wanted it from that point on. The book contains two novellas and much has been made about the style of Nors’ writing. She utlisises the lists that we all make on a daily basis to tell her stories. It sounds amazing and I couldn’t be more excited about reading it.

Recently Watched

  • Game of Thrones

Still re-watching an still amzaing. I’m midway through season 2 and all I can do is squeal whenever Brienne comes on screen. I fucking love her so much. Also, I have so much more love for Margaery Tyrell after the finale. She was fucking gorgeous but I was never that attached to her. Now she’s dead I’m realising how great she was. Still, maybe there’s a secret way to resist Wildfire that I just don’t know about yet? 

  • Spotless

Literally just started watching this new Netflix series. It sounds fucking awesome but it’s still too early to tell. I’m so bad at getting around to watching Netflix originals if I’m honest. I need to get up-to-date with House of Cards and then I need to start Jessica Jones, Daredevil and god knows what else. I still haven’t finished Love but I think that’s because I started to realise it’s unconventional rom-com element wasn’t as original or as exciting as I wanted it to be. 

Top 10 Wen-sday – Top 10 most heartbreaking deaths on Game of Thrones

death, Game of Thrones, George RR Martin, list, Top 10

I had such plans for this post after seeing Civil War. I  had every intention to use this post to discuss my favourite Marvel movies. I mean it’s something we all need to think about at some time. I mean we all really hate Iron Man 2 but which comes next? There’s the tricky Incredible Hulk question to consider and it’s hard not to see Captain America in a new light after the trilogy ended so well. Plus, I realise I’m in a minority of people who really love Thor so I’m always slightly away from the trends. So, as you can see, I’d given the whole thing a lot of thought. I was ready. Until I saw Game of Thrones episode 5 and my whole life got turned upside down. We all knew George RR Martin had a tendency to kill the people we love but I had to believe Hodor was safe. He was the best of us. So I decided to pay my respects to the gentle giant and remember the 10 most heartbreaking deaths in Game of Thrones.


10. Jeor Mormont – Season 3 Episode 4
I know this death wouldn’t make it onto many people’s top 10 because it wasn’t exactly Earth shattering. Jeor had been the wise old mentor for Jon Snow up until his death and hadn’t really had a great deal of screen time. Also, the show didn’t make much of his family connection with Jorah meaning they have less reason to care. Still, as a self-proclaimed resident of Bear Island I felt awful when the Old Bear died. Watching as his men turned on him in Crastor’s Keep was just dreadful.
9. Syrio Forel – Season 1 Episode 8
Syrio was a great man who laid down his life to save Ayra Stark from Lannister men. Even in the short time we knew Syrio it was easy to love him. His attitude to life and his work with Arya was fantastic. The worst thing about this death though? He was a great swordsman. If he’d picked up a real fucking sword and not a wooden one he’d probably have done a decent job of defending himself.

8. Barristan Selmy – Season 5 Episode 4
Barristan Selmy had a lot of heartbreaking moments in the show and his death was an undeserved one. Selmy is still alive in the books so the decision to kill him in the TV show was clearly one of convenience or timing. This death was heartbreaking because of how it came about and how brave he was. It also didn’t help that, after the episode aired, an interview with actor revealed how shocked and upset he was to find out he was dying. Imagine feeling as though you safe because you knew the books and then finding out it was all a lie.
7. Shireen Baratheon – Season 5 Episode 9 
I have spent a lot of time defending Stannis Baratheon to people and explaining why I wanted him on the throne. It was easy because he was the best man for the job. Until he burnt his fucking daughter to death of course. Shireen was a lovely and quiet child whose friendship with Ser Davos was a beautiful thing to behold. Watching her teach him how to read was delightful and she was certainly another character who only possessed goodness. Her death was just a barbaric and senseless act that is made all the more pointless for how little good it did everyone. Whatever Stannis had done in the past, his love for his daughter always counted for him. She was the one thing that humanised him. He didn’t have to destroy her.

6. Khal Drogo – Season 1 Episode 10
It took a lot of time but I eventually grew to love this creepy little marriage between Dany and her Kahl. Drogo genuinely loved Dany and she loved him back. Yes, it started rapey but it ended with so much real affection. To have him die in such a horrible way was just devastating. When Drogo was injured in battle and started to succumb to infection we all feared the worse but Dany, the fucking idiot, had to go and make it a million times worse by turning to blood magic. Drogo essentially died twice here and, considering it was Dany who finally finished him off, it destroyed the happy memories of their relationship in my eyes. As if I needed any more reasons to hate her.
5. Robb Stark – Season 3 Episode 9
The Red Wedding could easily put a girl off marriage for life. Robb Stark, on is was to honour his late father and kill the Lannister scum, was waylaid at The Twins. Thinking with his dick and not his head, Robb had married a random girl instead of the Frey he was promised to. Clearly you’d expect some kind of retribution. Not Robb Stark though, the fucking idiot. Seeing the only real hope the Stark’s had of getting any kind of vengeance be killed by his own banner man was just the worst. He was King of the fucking North and the North remembers. We’ll always remember.
4. Catelyn Stark – Season 3 Episode 9
Following from her son Robb’s death, Catelyn’s murder is made more heartbreaking because she only died because her son was super randy. She made a deal with the Frey’s but he went and fucked it all up. Catelyn sensed a trap but let her son take the lead. She knew better and she sensed the danger before it arose. She found out about Roose Bolton’s double dealings but it was too late. Catelyn Stark was a strong woman and a loving mother. She didn’t deserve to die in that way and she certainly shouldn’t have had to watch her son die before her.
3. Oberyn Martell – Season 4 Episode 8
Not since Ned Stark had the Game of Thrones audience rallied around a character like Oberyn Martell. He was handsome, witty and easy going. He came to King’s Landing to fuck shit up and he did exactly that. The moment he announced he would represent Tyrion Lannister during his trial by combat actually gave us hope that everything would turn out okay. How wrong we were. Attempting to get justice for his sister, Oberyn taunted Gregor Clegane during the fight. Despite having the upper hand on multiple occasions Oberyn never finished the job and won the battle. This death wasn’t just heartbreaking because we loved Oberyn. It was upsetting because he needn’t have let it happen. I read this in the books and immediately threw the thing across the room. Why didn’t he just chop the Mountain’s fucking head off when he had the chance?

2. Ned Stark – Season 1 Episode 9
Ned Stark was one of the only really decent people in this show, which also made him the easiest target. He trusted everyone and underestimated the game he was trying to play. The game he didn’t even want to play. His death was so stupid because, had he followed his own instincts, he shouldn’t even have been in King’s Landing. Everything about this scene is just awful. Sansa makes a desperate plea for her father’s life whilst Arya watches in the crowd as her father confesses to a crime he didn’t commit. Then the deal Ned made with Joffrey to join the Night’s Watch is thrown back in his face and his own sword is used against him. This death was both shocking and despicable. It was our first real glimpse at how heartless George RR Martin really is.
1. Hodor – Season 6 Episode 5
Not only did this death finally explain the mystery of why Hodor was the way he was but it also showed us that Hodor’s whole life was leading up to helping Bran. It brings a whole new light to their relationship and also shows us how much of a dick Bran really is. Hodor’s death was heroic, heartbreaking and honourable. He didn’t deserve to die but we couldn’t have asked for a more fitting exit for him. If only it hadn’t been quite so senselessly brutal.