TBT Review – Santa Claws (2014)

films, reviews, TBT

Rating: 1 out of 5.

For advent last year, I tried to watch a Christmas every day leading up to Christmas. I’m pretty sure that I managed it but I can’t actually remember. I was supposed to be posting each film on my Instagram story but I kept losing track of which day I was on. In the end, it was just better for everyone that I gave up. This year, I’ve vowed to do the same thing and, hopefully, keep up with my Instagram story record. I was already getting into the festive spirit thanks to The Princess Switch: Switched Again. So, I decided to keep the joy going with the most ridiculous looking film that I could find on Netflix. To be fair, I have already watched a lot of the shitty Christmas films on there for the TBT posts in past years. It left with one of the horrifying Nativity series or this monstrosity.

I’ve never seen Santa Buddies or the other Christmas films in the Air Bud franchise but I’d assume that it was both popular and successful. How else could you explain the need to recreate it with kittens instead of puppies? Why remake a preexisting film but make it slightly less adorable with your choice of animal? Although, that may be a controversial statement. I’d definitely say that I was more of a dog person than a cat person, so I may be a bit biased here. However, I think there’s a reason why you the dog film came first. I’m sorry if you disagree but puppies are just naturally cuter than puppies. It would take a lot to change my mind on this.

And this film certainly isn’t going to help matters. This has to be one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever seen. You know how we all thought Cats would be the worst depiction of felines ever to be put on film, well this must have been a close contender. Whoever decided that it was a good idea to animate their mouths when they speak should be checked for mental health issues. It’s terrifying. Tiny CGI moving mouths that reveal tiny CGI teeth? Nobody needs that, especially at Christmas. Trying to get kittens to do anything helpful was clearly tricky enough but to then make them try and “realistically” talk? Nope. I’m not here for it.

It was never going to be an easy task to make a film where 3 tiny kittens have to take over for Santa and deliver the presents on time. Not only because of the logistics of 3 tiny kittens driving a sleigh, carrying presents, and generally understanding what the fuck was going on. Mostly because the kittens don’t want to play ball. They don’t want to go where they need to go or do what they need to do. Why would they? So, it feels as if someone pointed a camera at them and just hoped they would do something passable. It’s a mess.

Add to that the terrible acting, awful storyline, and just horrible characters and this is a majorly depressing Christmas film. It was produced by the same people who made Sharknado but, unlike that film, this one can’t even claim to be so bad it’s funny. I’m really struggling to find something good to say about this one. It’s knocked the Christmas spirit right out of me.

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